Growing Old in England – A Funny English Story


Funny English Joke - Window

Someone asked the other day, ‘What was your favourite fast food when you were growing up?’

‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,’ I informed him. ‘All the food was slow.’

‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’

‘It was a place called “at home,”‘ I explained. ‘Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’

By this time, the other person was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

  • Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levis, never set foot on a golf course, or had a credit card.
  • Pizzas were not delivered to our home… But milk was.
  • All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers.
  • We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 19. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem.
  • My parents never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).
  • I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone was on a party line.
  • Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.
  • Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies.
  • There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.
  • If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
  • Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?
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